Never thought that I would return to it. But its happening.
The last three weeks have been crazy for me. It all started with attending a wedding, followed by official visits of some company executives to BLR and then another visit by a relative. Result...I am mentally exhausted and I need a break. Break from the office and from everything else. Thankfully I have planned a train journey to my home town and I am going all alone. But unlike in the past I am going to be wired to the rest of world during the vacation. I am also going to read two novels in the week long vacation.
Over to the point about which I thought during my weekend long walk today. How hard it is to look and sound the way you are. Why I have to pretend that I am liking something while in reality I am suffering. Why I have to prove it to others time and again that I am one of them or the way they look to me. To be fair to others there is equal chance that they also pretend the way I do. Anyway the question is why I have to pretend and what can I do to do away with it.
If I just start being what I am then what would happen. May be I will have lesser people who would care to talk to me, may be my better part would not like it, may be in difficult times I would not get any companion or may be I would be forever discarded by one and all. Now assuming that I really become what I want to be, would all this or some part of it happen all of sudden. No, it will happen gradually and that gradual process of hearing all non sense from sensible people has killed me in the past. The last thing that I want is repetition of my past. What can I do to expedite the process of getting ignored and considered not good enough for good people. Any clue?
The last three weeks have been crazy for me. It all started with attending a wedding, followed by official visits of some company executives to BLR and then another visit by a relative. Result...I am mentally exhausted and I need a break. Break from the office and from everything else. Thankfully I have planned a train journey to my home town and I am going all alone. But unlike in the past I am going to be wired to the rest of world during the vacation. I am also going to read two novels in the week long vacation.
Over to the point about which I thought during my weekend long walk today. How hard it is to look and sound the way you are. Why I have to pretend that I am liking something while in reality I am suffering. Why I have to prove it to others time and again that I am one of them or the way they look to me. To be fair to others there is equal chance that they also pretend the way I do. Anyway the question is why I have to pretend and what can I do to do away with it.
If I just start being what I am then what would happen. May be I will have lesser people who would care to talk to me, may be my better part would not like it, may be in difficult times I would not get any companion or may be I would be forever discarded by one and all. Now assuming that I really become what I want to be, would all this or some part of it happen all of sudden. No, it will happen gradually and that gradual process of hearing all non sense from sensible people has killed me in the past. The last thing that I want is repetition of my past. What can I do to expedite the process of getting ignored and considered not good enough for good people. Any clue?
1 comment:
Some people who know you a little will never forget the impact you made in their lives.
Some adore you as what and how u are..
It is very important to be true to yourself so that we can realize what we want and achieve it...
Post a Comment